WICKED PICTURES Deadpool Cums Too Quickly

Right? I mean, I get it. In real life, the closest I'll get to getting laid is

calling up a chicken's ass and waiting.

But, this is my porn period. It shouldn't be that difficult.

No, it really shouldn't.

Is that why you're here? Because ******* drastically improves your chances of scoring?

No, dumbass. I can't drink the mask on.

If I take it off, it drastically lowers my chances by below zero.

Yeah, you look like a poor man's version of my last turd.

Maybe like a monkey turd, you know, before they scoop it up and throw it at you.

Jeez, thanks, weasel.

But no, the reason I'm here is because when you have a shitty day,

the best thing to do is to talk to someone whose life sucks more than yours.

Speaking of sucking, you know that hot chick who's staring at you at the end of the bar

as you're having a real sex act?

She comes over here every Thursday and fucks some random dude in the crap room.

What?

I fucked her right here in the bar after closing.

I got her like a piece of schnitzel.

You boned her?

Yeah, she didn't even mind when I *****.

That's disgusting.

Hey.

The name is Paul.

Miss?

Hide. Valerie Hide.

And it's Mrs.

Well, I saw you staring over there.

...