tying up my cock and balls before the fun times

No.

Be fine.

My bad.

I thought this was a vending machine

as you look like a snack.

Well, that's exactly why I can't take you to the movies.

You don't let you bring in snacks.

Normally I just hide snacks in my pants.

And I tried to do that too, but my D got in the way.

Wanna smash?

Spend quality time together?

Make memories?

Padel.

Smile and laugh?

Hold hands?

That's a first.

There can be more firsts if you want.

Oh damn, how you coming up with this so quickly?

It's just practice.

I've been coming quickly for years.

Has anyone ever told you you have lower Farquaad's eyes?

I know that doesn't sound like a compliment,

but please Google it.

They're beautiful.

Oh my effing God.

You know what?

Farquaad's eyes are beautiful.

I love that compliment.

What's your major?

How about a more unique question?

Which vegetables give you the most anxiety?

Kiwis.

Bad experience with one as a ***.

That's an effing fruit.

Approaching girls in public versus

endlessly swiping on Tinder

even though it's a crap show

that's damaging my self-esteem.

With that comes the end of our journey

...