Two sluts bend their arses over to lick each other’s muffs

and I've certainly learned my lesson here.

Nice bullshit. What are you, an art major?

Communications. But trust me, bullshit has its applications there as well.

See, my grace under pressure and my resourcefulness

will be an asset to your university,

and will serve me in my future business career.

Listen, when I graduate, I will donate so much money to the alumni fund.

You'll be putting my name on buildings.

Just if you let me stay.

You do understand that you deserve to be expelled.

Yes, but...

But...

Maybe I can be convinced to put you on academic probation.

Yes, that would be perfect!

Do you have to tell my mom, though?

You're 18. You're an adult.

I don't have to tell your mother anything.

Oh, sweet.

However, I'm not very easy to convince.

Okay, so, um...

Miss Lacey, I see hot *********** come in and out of my office all day long.

And it would be, um...

It would be very improprietous for me to say anything, or for me to do anything.

However, you have already been quite improprietous yourself, haven't you?

...