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I wanted to be a news reporter like Connie Chung, only cuter.
Anyways, I met this guy at the gas station who told me he could get me an interview with a real live terrorist group if I wanted.
And I said sure.
Who would have thought that there were terrorists in Kansas?
I figured this could be my big break.
I had no idea what kind of trouble I was in for.
Are you ready? Let's do this.
Absolutely.
Let's get in.
I must cover your eyes first so you can't reveal a hiding place later on.
Alright.
Now we'll take you down the shiny path and take you to our sacred leader.
Sounds like fun.
Stay there and don't make a sound infidel or I will talk to a spiritual leader.
On his way.
Dude, the plan really worked.
Didn't she really think we were terrorists?
I've been driving for three hours.
I've been driving through twice.
She thinks we're in Canada.
What an idiot.
Let's go have some fun.
Okay, go.
Go.
Okay.
Go.
Mohammed Abdul Ameed Tukintokenshebaba is our spiritual leader chosen one.
He is a great freedom fighter who strikes terror in the hearts of Christian devils.
He says he will not speak to you until you remove all your clothes
and prove that you have not brought any recording devices that he does not approve of.
Your Highness. - Rise, my *****.
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