Redneck finds two beautiful blondes playing banjo on a ranch

No, I'm just a little off course.

Off course? What's that mean?

Isn't your angel lost?

Okay, I guess I'm lost.

Christ, Maddy Mae, you've got to feel this.

Wow, this is softer than shit out of ***** ass.

Where'd you get this, Will? At that Wally Mart store?

I hear they've got some nice things up there.

No, it's made by...

It's European.

European? Ain't that just a fancy way of saying queer?

Look, I don't want any trouble, alright?

My cell phone is out of range.

I'm just trying to use the phone.

Are you going to help me or not?

He sure does have a pretty mouth,

especially when he's all pouty and such.

Of course we will, Will.

You see that, Maddy Mae?

I said Will and his name's Will too.

Ain't that some shit?

Anyways, you just drop them pants now, mister.

What?

Take them off, Will.

Look, I see where this is going.

Look, I'm very flattered.

You're both very attractive girls,

but my wife, whom I love dearly, is waiting for me.

So I can't do this, okay?

I'm sorry. Not going to happen. No way.

I want you to make me squeal like a pig.

Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Yeah.

Yeah, on the sides.

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah?

Look at what I've messed up.

...