Playing with my tits

is annihilated by the First Order

halfway through the movie.

And afterwards, all we see of the New Republic

or its existence is a single fleet

consisting of a few ex-pats.

We're never given any idea of why the New Republic

refuses to act against the First Order,

how much of the galaxy these respective sides control,

or how the First Order is able to procure

such extensive resources.

Dumped into this lackluster setting,

we're led through a plot that recycles the story

into the original Star Wars film, almost point for point.

A rebel droid with valuable information

escapes the villains, then wanders a desert planet

until finding an orphan.

After being taken in by a forgotten hero,

it receives a lightsaber.

Meanwhile, the villains use a super weapon

capable of destroying planets,

and the heroes sneak into the base,

where a young Sith kills the old mentor

in front of the young hero.

Rebel ***** then destroy the super weapon

while the Sith narrowly escapes,

and our heroes celebrate their victory.

We're given almost the exact same plot

...