Only Fools And Arses Vol1 - Episode 4

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Nellie, Gem Zee, so what do you reckon the Del Boys idea of using the Nag's idea as the venue,

the prime venue for the Peckham Porn auditions?

Well is it legal boys do?

Is it legal?

I don't know, you?

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It's just like a little bikini competition, isn't it, Rodman?

Yes, it is.

Yeah, just...

But can I be in it?

Less bikinis.

Well, I don't know about that.

Why don't we have a thing?

You know, I think we can make room for both of you.

Yeah.

Now, the thing is, though, with this,

I have agreed that Boyce's Motors will provide the sponsorship for the event.

Isn't that right, Rodney?

That's right, yes.

And let me tell you, with that sort of wonga behind you,

you could go right at the top, Jemsey.

Really?

What do you reckon?

Let's do it then.

Right.

What do you say to that, boysy?

Yeah, you know that, boysy.

She who dares wins and buys the next round.

But you know what?

While we're all here, and you know, it's a quiet afternoon,

then, you know, we could think about having a pre-audition, couldn't we?

Yeah, you know, see if anybody could be like in the running.

I mean, your old man's not out for another two years, is he?

No.

That's all right, we've got plenty of time there.

And your old man ain't back from the oil tankers for a while, is he?

...

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