I wind my husband up while watching porn

Golly, I knew my dream meant something, but I had no idea.

Yes, you do. Spiritual guidance is the first step to Nirvana.

It is?

Golly, Dr. Thunderpussy, I didn't know that.

I mean, but how do I find spiritual guidance and enlightenment?

Look for a sign, Peaches.

A sign?

Oh, of course, a sign.

When I think of the wonderful, glorious things you're going to experience with a body like that.

Soon.

One last bit of professional advice.

Yes?

Don't be afraid to seize opportunity by the throat.

Venture not, gain not.

Spiritual enlightenment, Peaches.

Oh, wow. I understand.

You may consort with prostitutes.

A man may sin against his brethren.

A man may disgrace his father.

Forget all that.

God will show you the way.

In this desperate hour,

we all need spiritual guidance.

Spiritual guidance?

I'm going to make a very special request.

I'd like all of you out there who are watching by the village fair now

to kneel and pray with me and follow me.

Then we should begin.

Now kneel with me a second.

My friends,

this has been very different than times you all know by circumstances.

...