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Video Transcription

The thing about having a spaceship all to yourself is that you can be naked and watch

trashy talk shows on TV all day long and not worry about anybody catching you.

You know, there's absolutely no purpose to this, except for it looks good

Well, goodnight

Barbara Eno, Barbara Eno, Barbara Eno, wake up

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Ready to command sir

I've got a very special mission for you, and from the looks of it, you have all the right assets

Oh my gosh, maybe I should go put something on

Don't you dare, at my age, I need all the cheap thrills I can get

As you wish sir

Your mission is to go to planet Eking, once there, find Dr. Cummigan and return him to Earth immediately

Cummigan?

Yes

Yes what?

Cummigan

Cummigan?

Yes

Yes what?

Cummigan, Dr. Cummigan

Dr. Who?

No, not Dr. Who, Dr. Cummigan

You can see where this is leading right?

Look, it doesn't matter, he'll be the only Earthling there

Right

Commander, why is it so important we bring this doc back to Earth?

Well in the interest of saving screen time, we just ****** on that last gag

I have it all written down, browse through it at your convenience, it makes a great bathroom reading

As far as we can tell, this is the most complete guide on alien life forms and their behaviours

Anal insurer number 9

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