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I'm Detective John Cole from the Los Angeles H******e Division.

My line of work is sometimes get a screwy case,

and this was one of those times.

This particular morning I answered a 418 at 814

to come out the 148 Silverfish Terrace.

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It was one of those swank LA neighborhoods in a landscape

where the lawn jockeys are real and the inhabitants,

most of the time, aren't.

It's my job to find out why certain people kill certain people,

then have the gall to leave their handiwork laying around.

Surely you don't think I had anything to do with this, officer.

It's detective, ma'am.

Oh.

And there's an old oriental saying in answer to your question

that says the toilet paper in hand is usually the one that wipes the ass.

Uh, I don't believe I'm familiar with that one.

And I've studied confuses.

What?

The confuses.

Bless you.

Oh, that's very, very funny, officer.

It's detective, ma'am.

And confuses say we got a big problem.

We got one person lying here dead,

and one live one who looks guilty as shit,

and that usually adds up to one suspect.

I'm telling you, I didn't have anything to do with this.

Beg your pardon, detective Cole.

This is detective Charlie Clams, who will be assisting me in this investigation.

I want you to meet your acquaintance.

...

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