dude needs something new and makes a date with midget girl Bridget Powers

I'm looking for the perfect handyman.

And he has to be able to, you know, handle my tools.

Well, hey, I think you called the right guy.

Really?

Yeah.

So, uh, can you be cock on call?

Well, I think I can.

After all, my name is Dave Bigelow.

And I happen to be a gigolo, amongst other things.

A gigolo.

Yeah.

So, if I asked you to show me your tools, would you?

Of course.

And if I asked you to show me your screws, would you screw me?

It would be my pleasure.

And how about your sandpaper, would you buff my butt?

Sure. Anything you want.

Well, let's see one of your tools.

You want to see one of my tools?

One of them.

I actually left them all in the car, except for one.

Really? Show me the one you have with you.

It's right here. It's my main tool.

Your main tool?

It's the one I do most of my tooling in.

All your tooling, all your hard work.

Uh-huh.

Yeah?

You really want to see it?

Tell me about this wonderful, magical tool.

Will it work for me?

Why don't we find out?

Uh-huh.

But actually, if you add water, it grows.

At the moment, I don't have any water.

It's the only thing I can think of that's wet.

Well, hey.

Yeah?

Let's give it a try.

Uh-huh.

What?

You got that a little more.

...