Bigflip's Intense Cock Pumping

Are you kidding? Do you know how crazy the cake prices are in this town?

Ever since that banker cartel moved in, they've kept the prices up and the supply down.

Dive tankers!

Hello, Americans! Is this ever happened to you?

It's Susan's birthday, everyone! Come on, let's sing!

Are you sick to death of this tired old birthday song?

Yes, I am!

Well, boy, howdy, so am I!

Ha! It's me, Barber Jimmy, part-time cookie barber and social advocate.

But you already knew that.

What you may not know is that old birthday song has sank my musical sensibilities so deep,

I barely have words to describe it.

That's why I'm holding a contest to write a new birthday song.

Not only will the winner create history by finally overthrowing Happy Birthday,

but you also get a year's supply of our farm-bred birthday cakes.

Birthday cakes are not actually farm-bred.

I see you at the bottom, not singing that song, but your new one!

Dude, a year's supply of cake?

We gotta write the next Happy Birthday song.

Can we get the next three days off from work?

Um, no.

But fancy, we have to go compete in a birthday song contest.

If we don't write a song, you'll replace Happy Birthday.

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