Beth Showing off her soles

They said, "You wouldn't get it."

I said, "I'm the funniest motherfucker at this table."

My comedy's paying for this dinner and those teeth, run it by me.

I'm saying, "I don't think you'd find it funny."

So I go to the bathroom.

I come back quick, I look over Isla's shoulder, she's slow.

What I see is a series of pictures of me, and the chat thread is titled, "Baby Walrus."

My stomach drops, I sit down at the table, I go, "What the fuck is baby walrus?"

They freeze, they're like, "Oh, it's not what's baby walrus, it's who's baby walrus."

I said, "Who the fuck is baby walrus?"

Isla goes, "I think you know who baby walrus is."

So she goes, "Calm down dad, it's just mom thinks when you put on fancy clothes,

you look like a baby walrus who's trying to escape from the ***."

I looked at Leanne and she goes, "Calm down, you actually behave like a baby walrus."

*********** I don't."

And then the waitress came over, she goes, "Double teatos and soda, big glass, no lime."

...