After a much needed mental orgasm, the very real Rachel Wriggler updates you on becoming a Gummy Bear

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In the words of an author whose name I cannot remember, something like Albert Espinosa perhaps, but anyway “You are, who you really are after having an orgasm”. There's no faking it - excuse the pun! In those moments after cumming, you are the real you. And this is very much the real me! Opening up about my life, my private life, which is pretty damn public. Haha. Funnily enough very very few people in my real life actually know about this area of my life. They do know all about my medical history and why I had my top row of teeth removed as a result of the long term side effects of me having cancer in 1994 and 97. So here's me, filling you in on how it's going.

Video Transcription

Fuck me.

Oh my fucking.

I need to squirt on my hands.

Wow.

That was needed.

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This is my new face.

Can I just say thanks for all of your love and support

over the last,

well, nearly two years,

but last week or two especially.

What with becoming a gummy bear, look.

Just think of the head.

Just think of the head.

I though, thought I was gonna be getting

some fucking dentures within a month

of having the top row taken out.

But my dentist,

the newest guy I've been seeing him for like a year,

only very kindly informed me afterwards

after having them all out,

that he definitely does not want to even take any molds

until my gums are healed properly.

Which is six to nine months,

and I'm like, "Nah, mate.

"No, no.

"That sucks."

On multiple levels, one,

because I would have definitely kept the best,

the best tooth for chewing on.

'Cause at the moment, I'm like having to squish

fucking peas into the roof of my mouth.

I can't bite on anything.

But also,

my bottom teeth keep jabbing into my top gum,

making it really hurt.

So, I don't even know where it is.

Oh, here's a,

here's one I don't like so much.

But whilst waiting for the delivery

from Amazon for a mouth guard,

I've been using these.

And it's so much nicer.

It means I don't get woken up however long each night

...

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